Have you ever witnessed your child disrespect you in front of others or when you’re alone at home? Unfortunately, such instances are becoming common, and many parents are undergoing such mentally and emotionally draining experiences too frequently. Disrespect can show up in any form. For example, it can be your child arguing about the food at the dinner table and then abruptly getting up and slamming their bedroom door in a huff. Or, it can be a more subtle form of disrespect, like constant eye-rolling when you’re talking to them or mumbled responses to your questions.
At Delhi Public School Kangra, one of the best CBSE affiliated schools in Kangra, we understand that such disrespect can chip away the joy of parenthood, leaving you feeling hurt and unsure of effective ways to navigate the situation, but there’s a way out. Whether your child’s disrespect shows up in the form of nonverbal cues like eye rolling, ignoring instructions, slamming doors on your face, or passive-aggressive behavior like making sarcastic comments in response to your talking, deliberately forgetting requests, withholding affection or communication as a punishment, etc., there are ways to handle these situations like a pro.
To make it easier, we have shared five powerful tips that won’t disappoint you. So, let’s quickly explore the tips shared below and implement them for the best results.
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Follow the Empathy Sandwich
Sometimes, children are unable to express their feelings of anger, hurt, sadness, or feelings of being unseen and unheard, and it shows up as disrespect. For situations like these, parents can use the empathy sandwich to handle the situation better. Just like a sandwich, this technique has three layers. The top layer is about acknowledging their emotions (I see you’re really upset now), the middle layer or filling is about addressing the disrespect (it’s not OK to yell), and the bottom layer is offering understanding (but let’s talk about what’s bothering you). This technique works like magic because it validates the child’s feelings while establishing firm boundaries and opens a door for solution-oriented conversation.
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Use the Broken Record Technique
When your child constantly disrespects you, use the broken record technique to handle the situation calmly. This technique is based on the principle of a scratched record stuck on a loop. Using it can help you slowly take control of the situation without making it worse. For example, the next time you face defiance or backtalk, resist the urge to argue or react aggressively. Instead, act calm and patient, and keep repeating your expectations in a composed manner.
When your child talks back to you in a disrespectful tone, keep repeating the sentence, ‘I understand you’re upset, but using this tone is not OK! Let’s try again and communicate respectfully.’ This gentle persistence will break the situation’s intensity and bring you two on the same page.
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Focus on Solutions, Not Blame
Reserve this tip for the times when your child is in a jolly and communicative mode. Start to converse normally and bring their attention to how their recent behavior affected you. Instead of blaming the child, ask what made them behave disrespectfully and lend a helping hand. Collaborate with them to find solutions and brainstorm strategies so similar instances can be avoided or drastically reduced in the future. This step is effective because it makes the child take ownership of their behavior and establishes a more positive communication style between parents and children.
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Identify the Root Cause Behind Their Disrespect
We at Delhi Public School Kangra would like to recommend every parent to identify the root cause behind their child’s disrespect. Review all past similar incidents and notice if there’s a pattern. You can also take note of what potentially triggered the child, resulting in such behavior. Was it a normal power struggle or a sign of a deeper issue? Are there underlying emotions like anger, disappointment, or feeling unheard or unseen that made them act a certain way?
Or maybe it’s the peer pressure or outside emotions influencing their behavior. There can be many reasons, so you must sit, self-introspect, and review all recent instances before coming to any conclusion. You can include your spouse, too, in this process to make it faster and more effective. Once you’ve identified the root cause, look for appropriate ways to eliminate the causes.
Conclusion
As much as no parent wants to be disrespected by their child, taming such situations demands time and a multi-pronged approach. We at Delhi Public School Kangra, one of the most trusted CBSE affiliated schools in Kangra, firmly believe that following the tips used in this blog post can have a profound impact on managing the situation. However, keep in mind that these tips must be practiced consistently over a period of time. Be patient with yourself during the process and work towards maintaining open communication with your children. You’d be surprised with the results these tips deliver, so implement them aptly and patiently. Also, include your partner or spouse in the process for support. Also, if you ever notice that disrespectful instances are increasing in intensity and frequency, and nothing seems to work, do not shy away from consulting a professional counselor for tangible relief.