Parents always find themselves trapped in a constant tug-of-war situation. On one hand, they want their children to become independent, mature, and wise so they can navigate their life like a pro, and on the other hand, they want to always protect, help, and nurture them. At Delhi Public School Kangra, positioned among the top 10 schools in Kangra, we believe both aspects are equally important. Problems arise when parents start overdoing any of these activities.
For example, what will you do if you see your kids struggling to tie their shoelaces? Will you step in to tie the shoelaces for them or patiently wait for them while guiding them through the process? This seemingly simple scenario is one of the many that keeps parents on their toes because their decisions can significantly shape their child’s overall development. If you start giving too much guidance to your kids, it will make them feel insecure, under-confident, and overly dependent on external help. Conversely, if you offer less than the required help, they may feel abandoned and unloved.
The only solution to such challenges is to find a sweet spot where you offer just enough support to help your kids grow while allowing them the necessary space to develop their own problem-solving skills and confidence. You must learn to identify the fine line between guiding children and developing autonomy to support your child’s healthy growth and development. This blog post will help you determine the difference between the two, so ensure you read till the end.
Identifying the Fine Line between Guiding Children and Developing Autonomy
We at Delhi Public School Kangra spoke to many parents and noticed that understanding the point where guidance ends and overstepping begins can be tricky for most parents. Thus, we have brought forth in this blog post below some common signs that can help you identify whether you’re providing too much guidance to your kids, hindering their autonomy. Let’s explore the signs shared below:
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Constant Intervention
If you often find yourself jumping in to solve every minor problem your children face, then you’re crossing the line. For instance, if your 8-year-old cannot decide what outfit to wear for an upcoming party, you shouldn’t instantly jump in and pick one for them. You can instead guide them and leave them with an option so they can learn to make decisions for themselves.
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Overprotectiveness
Parents are inherently protective of their kids, but overprotectiveness can be an overkill for many. Kids learn to assess risks and build resilience when they face a difficult situation independently. Always shielding your kids can rob them of important learning experiences. If you often prevent your kids from playing in the park, start by watching over their safety from a distance. Don’t stop them from playing or exploring a place, and don’t be too close to them because it may limit their exploration.
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Doing Tasks Your Kids Can Handle
Sometimes, parents underestimate what their kids are capable of doing. Hence, they start helping their kids by doing their tasks that they could easily finish. For example, if you pack their school bag, schedule their homework routine, clean their room, decide what clothes they’ll wear, etc., then you’re denying them a fair chance to develop responsibility and competence. Thus, we at Delhi Public School Kangra would like to recommend parents to stop doing their kids’ tasks and only offer them guidance wherever and whenever needed.
Signs That Your Children Need More Autonomy
Parents who often step up to overdo their part don’t realize they’re causing more damage than good. It may initially offer relief to children, but they eventually start getting frustrated. The following signs can help you determine whether you’re overdoing and taking away your child’s autonomy:
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Expressing Frustration
Kids may not directly tell you to let them handle things independently, but there will be signs like expressing frustration. If you start hearing words like ‘I can do it myself,’ ‘You never let me try,’ etc., take it as a sign that your kid is asking for autonomy.
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Lack of Initiative
If your child starts to wait to be told what to do for everyday situations, then you must pause and reassess your guiding approach. Such situations typically arise when kids haven’t received enough opportunities to handle activities/people/situations independently.
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Difficulty with Decision-Making
When you start over-guiding your kids with every activity, they eventually lose their decision-making ability. If you notice your kids being unable to decide what snacks to have, what outfit to wear, etc., it indicates that they need autonomy.
Conclusion
Parenting is a tricky job that doesn’t come with a defined set of guidelines, strategies, or hacks. While every parent wants to help their children grow without any problems, it makes them cross the fine line between guiding kids and developing autonomy. If you really want to support your child’s healthy growth and development, we at Delhi Public School Kangra, recognized among the top 10 schools in Kangra, would like to advise you to focus on identifying the sweet spot between offering the right amount of guidance and autonomy to your kids. Trust us, they will thank you for this in their adult years.