Have you ever felt you’ve been tuned out of your parent-child conversation, leaving you frustrated and angry? Maybe you asked your child to clean their room, only to be responded by a blank stare or got royally ignored during dinner table conversations like you don’t exist in your kid’s world. Although disappointing, these instances are more common than one would expect. We at Delhi Public School Kangra, one of the most trusted CBSE schools in Kangra, spoke to numerous parents and students to better understand their relationship dynamics and identify key reasons behind the growing communication gaps between the two.
After many discussions, we found that kids don’t avoid listening and responding to their parents out of joy or as a means to disrespect them. The reasons behind these actions are deep, and parents must know them to fix these roadblocks for smooth communication. So, if you’ve been struggling to make your children listen or respond to you, it may be because of one of the following reasons:
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Poor Communication between Parents and Children
One of the biggest reasons many parents don’t receive a response from their kids is an apparent communication breakdown. Some parents habitually use ineffective communication styles like shouting, scolding, exercising authoritativeness, etc., while talking with their kids, and it’s the biggest turn-off for them. For example, if you always tell your kids to ‘clean the room now,’ your words may appear aggressive. But if you embrace a collaborative communication approach like ‘Come, let’s clean the room together,’ you have a higher chance of getting the work done while getting positive responses from your kids.
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Deep Emotional Disconnect
Just like adults, even kids want to feel validated and heard. When their parents refuse to fulfill this need, they contribute to a subtle emotional disconnect that gradually widens over time. Parents must understand that their simplest words can deeply affect their kids, creating an emotional rift between them. For example, if your children come to you to share their vulnerabilities, failures, bad experiences, etc., and you respond with ‘It’s not a big deal,’ or ‘You’ll get over it,’ you’re unknowingly pushing them away.
We at Delhi Public School Kangra believe that many kids stop listening and responding to their parents as a way to protect themselves from feeling dismissed or misunderstood. The only way to remove this communication blockage is by creating a safe environment where your kids feel comfortable sharing their experiences with you.
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Too Consumed by Overstimulation and Distractions
Sometimes, your kids may not listen or respond to you because their brains are already overloaded with information, and they cannot process more at a given point in time. It is especially true if your kids always engage with mobile phones, video games, TVs, tablets, etc. Since there are too many things trying to get your child’s attention, it is normal to overlook what their parents say. It has nothing to do with intentional disrespect but more to do with overstimulation and distractions.
You can start noticing whether your child doesn’t respond or talk when they’re busy with social media, video games, tablets, etc. If true, start organizing tech-free zones where you can communicate easily with your kids. Since they won’t have any device in their hands, they can give their full attention to what you’re saying and participate actively in conversations.
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Brewing Power Struggles
Children don’t have the same behavior, actions, communication style, etc., throughout their growth journey, so it is obvious to notice jarring responses from them. We at Delhi Public School Kangra, one of the most trusted CBSE schools in Kangra, have observed that as kids grow, so does their need for independence. As such, though their action of not listening or responding to your talks might appear as disobedience, for kids, it may be their way of asserting autonomy. Even if it looks problematic and frustrating, it’s a part of their growth journey that parents cannot overlook.
If you always tell your kids what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc., you’re unknowingly setting the stage for power struggles. Kids may eventually begin refusing to listen to you as a form of rebellion or a way to reclaim power over their lives. The only way to avoid such challenges is by giving them choices within acceptable and age-appropriate boundaries. This simple change can influence their willingness to cooperate.
Conclusion
No matter how strong parents appear from the outside, witnessing their kids not listening and responding to their talks can make them feel defeated and devastated from the inside. While it may come across as an act of disobedience and disrespect, viewing the situation from a different angle can improve things. For example, when you know that your kids are not responding because they’re overstimulated with digital media or feeling emotionally disconnected because of past incidences, you can tweak your communication style to start getting responses. If you still cannot get positive responses, do not shy away from seeking guidance from fellow parents or professional child psychologists/counselors.